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I did, then I didn’t, but now “I do”!

posted by :: Guest Blogger CWS :: 1 thought response

red flowers white cake

I was married the first time at 22; my wedding was all that everyone around me influenced it to be. I even dared to order a wedding cake with chocolate icing (very daring for the 80’s) of course the moment came when I saw my wedding cake that it was WHITE! My mother had gone back to the baker and changed to order letting them know that I had clearly made a mistake.

Needless to say over the many years since my first wedding there were a plethora of things that I would change, however I never thought that I would have the opportunity to do so. I had meant the vows that I took with all my heart, my 22 year old heart. My vows are not something that I took lightly and what I found at the end of my marriage I had not only lost my marriage, I lost my faith in my own ability to trust my heart. If I meant the vows with every fiber of my being at 22 and I was wrong how I could trust my heart to make that decision again.

I met a man and we fell in love; however my inability to believe in my hearts decision made our courtship a little longer then most… ok a whole lot longer then most… 168 months or Fourteen Years. Imagine finding someone willing to stay with you and love you despite your obvious issues. Something clicked and I finally decided I could trust my hearts decision making abilities. So let the Wedding plan madness begin!

What a difference it is planning a wedding at 40 something than 22. We picked a date…. everyone wanted a date right away… our date was chosen around our sons hockey schedule, of course the super bowl and it was a cool date. 02/08/2008. There were clearly more thing to take into account when planning this second that were not factors in my first.

The exciting part came after the date was chosen and we were able to sit down and talk about what “we wanted”. We batted around so many ideas and finally decided on the feeling we wanted for our wedding, we wanted relaxed, music oriented party, with great food and great friends. Our wedding was a 1950’s Cocktail Party. The theme was a jumping off point, my daughter was 19 and she was a tremendous help in finding the different websites we needed to pull this wedding off. We choose to do it all our selves our friends helped and our wedding became very personal and intimate event. I designed my save the date cards to set the mood for our 50’s cocktail theme.

Wedding dress shopping was a depressing nightmare, I was not 20 something and I was not a size 4, it left me overwhelmed. Then I found the dress of my dreams… well the pattern for the dress of my dreams, 1958 Vogue Vintage Cocktail dress pattern on an online auction for less than $10.00. I bought my fabric and found a dress maker and the dress of my dreams became reality. For a fraction of the cost of a wedding dress I was able to have my dream dress made.

We talked to 6 caterers telling them the theme and waiting to hear back on a menu for a “Swanky 1950’s Cocktail Party Wedding” I was stunned by the lack of creativity all but one had Pigs in a blanket, and the prices were shocking at best…for pigs in a blanket! Then there was Carla her menu was unique and delicious with a very reasonable price.

Music was important to us, in fact we complied more then 8 hours of music between the two of us. We took hours upon hours to pare it down to the perfect compilation of songs we loved. We painstakingly checked the order of the songs ensuring the mood of the music was just what we wanted. It was worth every moment since we had created the soundtrack to our wedding perfect.

The cake was another learning experience… as someone that doesn’t really care about sweets I wanted to make sure that everyone had something they liked. Once the photo of the perfect cake was found we decided on the flavors. Italian Creame for my daughter, Kahlua Chocolate of all the chocolate lovers & Butter Pound cake for everyone else, all covered with the very best Butter cream frosting. The photo of the cake I fell in love with had ribbon on it, while talking with the baker a fellow transplanted Yankee. We hit on the idea of replacing the ribbon with Chocolate sprinkles, chocolate sprinkles are hard to find here, up north they are everywhere. My baker and my cake far exceeded my expectations.

We had a candy bar that featured red and brown candies complete with Swedish fish. red hots, snowcaps, retro candy cigarettes and my favorite Chocolate covered Potato Chips. I had ordered inexpensive Chinese food take-out boxes and the girls and I adorned them with out wedding logo, ribbons and a thank you charm. The guests loved taking their favorite candy home with them.

My bouquets were amazing, I wanted retro and I was referred to a well established yet modest florist and when we met and discussed my wishes she was thrilled. She first opened her floral business in the early 1960’s and remembers doing bouquets similar to my vision. She created beautiful vintage carnation bouquets; mine was full or red carnations with a beautiful white satin ribbon that I adorned with a vintage red brooch that was a gift from my bridesmaid. The girls carried white carnations with red satin ribbon; it looked stunning with their chocolate brown cocktail dresses. Our flowers like everything else proved to be not only beautiful & retro they were also affordable, classic bang for our buck!

The planning was not free of drama however I feel like there was far less drama then there could have been. We were able to have everything the way that we wanted. Our vows were heart felt and honest; the music was perfect for us. We offered a signature cocktail with a limited bar and fabulous food for our guests. The only tradition that we adhered to was the cutting of the cake and that was perfect for our party. When the evening was over our friends and family were left with memories of a great evening with good friends, great food, cocktails, candy, music, cake, all of the things we wanted them to take from our unique and special wedding day.

Take the time to consider what is important about your special day. The traditions that are important to you should be the ones that you spend time on. Do not get wrapped up in the things that are unimportant. If you are unable to choose one cake flavor choose two or three. If you are unsure on flowers tell your florist the theme you are trying to create and trust their judgment. Whether you spend thousands of dollars or tens of thousands on your special day, or you have 30 guests or 300 guests, the important part is that you create an event that is as unique as you both are.   (launching March 2012)


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One Comment

  1. t
    Posted January 17, 2012 at 7:40 pm | Permalink

    great advice…